Archive for November, 2009

I piss myself off so much sometimes

Monday, November 30th, 2009

Fucking… Went to bed at 8:30am because I was sleepy, set my alarm nice and loud, woke up at 1:30pm to discover I’d turned the fucking thing off in my sleep. Peeled off the selotape and turned the volume knob on the speakers. WHY the hell would I do that. Everyone says “Oh it must’ve been a concious decision” and mum said “Why am I always the one who has to wake you up!”

Like I wanted to oversleep. I am fucking annoyed at myself. -_-

Maybe I’ll record myself through the webcam, see what the hell I do, if I’m concious or not.Maybe it’d motivate me to NOT fuck up.

Maybe I should go to a 10pm-7am pattern and hold it for a few days, adjust properly and then try this again, maybe the sleep deprivation would kick in properly instead of this adrenaline high I seem to be on right now, where I rarely get sleepy, but once I’m out, I’m totally gone.

Day 6

Monday, November 30th, 2009

One thing about this sleep pattern, days seem amazingly long. I had a shower yesterday morning and it feels like 3 days ago, did I really post the blog about the dream less than 24hrs ago? I guess it’s because I’ve got no solid beginning or end to my days.

My pattern got screwed up today, I overslept slightly, from 10:00-11:00am, I must’ve turned my alarm off in my sleep or something… My screen was on when I woke up and the knob on my speakers was turned right down. I need to put more tape over it, but everything always goes missing the moment you need it…

The next nap was an hour earlier than it should have been (14:00-14:30), that was the one where I dreamt, then I skipped the one at 15:00 because I’d just slept, and ended up missing the one at 19:00 as my brother was here and nobody would leave me alone. I dozed at 22:00 instead of 23:00 (Because I figured I was an hour behind anyway) then again at 2am instead of 3am (But didn’t manage to sleep). 7am is the next nap then I’m back on the planned timetable, which I’m gonna try and stick too more rigidly.

It seems to be that I have an easier time sleeping during the day, which is odd. But I am used to being up at night and then sleeping half the day away. That Steve guy who did this said he slept better with a dim lamp on in his room. I need a lamp in here, and if it’s just a nightlight it doesn’t make much difference to me, if I wanna read, I’ll turn the big light on, just need it so I can walk from the lightswitch to the bed without falling over.

Those sunjars look pretty shiny, maybe I’ll try for one of those. I think I’ll also rearrange my bedroom today. I was trying to nap earlier, and I had a few interesting revelations, both about the layout in here, and about other things.

I also changed my alarm from 30 to 25 minutes.

First nap where I actually hit REM sleep?

Sunday, November 29th, 2009

I dreamt I was meeting Tera again, no Chibi though. :( (I was sad about that) I’d managed to get off the plane and hadn’t gotten lost. Yay~ But I think I was wandering around looking for Tera, and there he was! I recognised you by the hat.

Didn get much further than that though as alarm woke me up.

It was a bit shakey though, I sort of knew I was dreaming. At least in the first bit, where there was also a bit of a dream where I was watching the puppies playflight, because they’re downstairs barking.

I think I mightve dreamt more than that but dreams shift around a bit and I dun remember. Something about kids and bikes and mcdonalds maybe and there was another bit where I was sitting here and messing with my little bottle of lavender oil but I spilt it and it reacted with something on the desk and turned into acid and started eating away at shit, and I’d got it on my hands and in my mouth. God knows what that was about.

Alarm woke me up just as we met and I woke up instantly, but feeling very groggy. 15 mins later the drowsyness is starting to fade a little.

Polyphasic Alarm Clock

Sunday, November 29th, 2009

This is the alarm clock I made to wake me up after a nap, I always sleep in the same room as my computer, so it works well. It’s written with Autohotkey, which you can download at the link.

The script itself is available here ( DOWNLOAD )

You have to edit in your own music file, at the moment, for me, it plays this.

When you press the hotkey (Defaults to alt-gr) A message box pops up asking you if you’d like to set the alarm, if you click yes, another message box appears telling you the time the alarm will go off. By default, it goes off after 30 minutes, as long as you leave the messagebox open, as it goes off it also locks the computer until you type in your login password, making it difficult to switch off in your sleep.

4 days in

Sunday, November 29th, 2009

4 days in, and this is what my chart looks like. The grey lines are planned naps and the very light blue are a halfway point for naps.

Today I changed my schedule from 12/4/8/12/4/8, to 11/3/7/11/3/7, it seems like a more convenient number, for some reason. Doesn’t look as pretty on the chart though.

chart
(more…)

Sunday, November 22nd, 2009

Here I go.

Drifter in time.

Thursday, November 5th, 2009

The idea of lucid dreaming facinates me, as well as the whole aspect of being able to control when and how much you need to sleep. Sleep is one of those things everyone acepts as necacary but never really thinks about, they deny they ever dream and never cast a thought to how much of their lives they spend unconcious.

I’ve tried it before and failed, but I’ve never properly logged it before, so here it goes. I’m going to try going polyphasic, and I’m going to put this here to motivate myself, so there’s evidence I can blackmail myself with if I fail, so I can see in years time, what exactly was going through my head right now.

Time scares me. In the way most people are scared of being mugged or of armed robbers, I’m scared of time. Most of the time it’s irrelevant, most of the time it’s the furthest thing from their mind, but maybe one day, they’ll be standing in the bank, or they’ll be walking along a dark street at night, and just for a moment, the thought will flash through their mind.

What if.

What if he pulls out a gun.

What if there’s somebody hiding behind the next corner.

What if I die tomorrow.

What if, tomorrow, the day after, in ten years time, I get into a crippling accident, what would happen then.

If I died, would anyone remember me?

When I die, will anyone notice, will the world just end, how solid is this reality? How much would it take to destroy everything.

When I fail, when I die, maybe this will leave a scratch. It’s already changed my life.